People have a difficult time letting go of the past because they are held back by unfinished business. They may regret choices they have made or feel guilty about past actions. As long as guilt and regret are not resolved, it is difficult to move forward.

The Regret Epidemic

Regret is an emotion that feels similar to depression or sadness. It also feels like guilt, but it isn’t the same thing. Sometimes a wave of regret seems to come out of nowhere. You might become aware of it when you lose something or someone, or when you meet someone from your past. It is a common feeling in our culture for several reasons.

1. We have too many choices. Since we have so many options, there are many more opportunities to regret the paths we didn’t take.
Example: When Linda was a senior at a major university, she interviewed with over 30 companies on campus. She was offered jobs in five different cities and had a difficult time choosing. In the end, she moved to Los Angeles and began an executive training program in a large company. A few years later, she began to wonder whether she had made the wrong choice. She thought she might have been better off in Kansas City, which had been her second choice. The regret leaves her feeling stuck and dissatisfied.

2. Endless possibilities. Another factor causing many of us to feel regret is that in the American culture, there is a belief that life has no limits. Our culture has an insatiable appetite for new experiences, adventure, and newness. When faced with the reality that certain things will not work out or change, we find it hard to accept.
Example: Karen has turned 45. She has never married and has no children. She has always believed that “There is always tomorrow” and “I have plenty of time to make my mark.” But now, realizing that she may never be a mother and probably won’t be the CEO of her company, she is feeling like life has passed her by.

3. No rules. Along with all of these options, our lives have become confusing because there are few guidelines for what choices we should make.

Example: Most women who have children struggle with the choices of what role employment should play in their lives, and many women feel like they made the wrong choice. Options include staying home with the children, working full-time at a demanding profession, or choosing a less demanding or part-time job.

Example: Many people feel compelled to continue on the ladder of success as long as they are being rewarded for it. When work becomes demanding and is no longer fun, it is hard to turn down promotions and pay increases in favor of less demanding, more satisfying work. People feel locked in to their career tracks and don’t know how to get off the treadmill.

4. We value self-sufficiency. Our American culture has always valued independence. Somehow, we all get the message that it is better if we achieve our goals on our own, without the help of anyone else. The problem is that when we cannot accept support from others, we become isolated. Living a completely self-sufficient life violates the basic human need for affiliation.

Example: Matt’s mother, Sarah, is 75. She is a widow and lives alone in an apartment in New York City. Matt left New York after finishing college and now lives in Florida. Sarah’s friends are gradually moving to Florida, too. Matt has urged Sarah to move to a nearby condominium, and has even taken her to see a few of them. She resists, saying that she doesn’t want to be a burden.

Meanwhile, Sarah is becoming increasingly isolated and depressed. She sits in her New York apartment and remembers the sunny condo she saw in Miami a few years back. She is filled with regret but won’t change her mind. She feels like she has no choice but to remain independent and self-sufficient.

5. Instant gratification. Many people escape the pressures of daily life through drugs and alcohol. There are messages everywhere suggesting that we use alcohol and drugs to relax, escape, have fun, and be sexy. When this becomes a lifestyle, it often results in consequences that one can only regret: drunk driving, accidents, death and injury, relationship probles, poor attendance at work, or being fired.

6. Constant comparisons. When we compare our lives with others, it’s easy to feel regret. Most of us expect ourselves to have it all together. We learn to act as if we are in control and compare ourselves with our friends, coworkers, neighbors, and the characters on television. When we don’t look as good as they do, we feel like failures. We have a list of “shoulds” inside our headsthings we expect ourselves to be able
to do.

Guilt

Guilt is usually the result of aggressive acts, wishes, and thoughts. It usually results from violating a ruleeither our own or someone else’s.
What to Do about Unfinished Business
If you want to move past the things in the past that are keeping you stuckyour unfinished businessyou will need to acknowledge them and tell the truth about them. You don’t necessarily have to take any action; sometimes just writing or talking about it is enough to lessen its impact. You can write about it in a private journal or talk about it with a trusted friend or counselor. Here are some places to look for your unfinished business:

1. Risks I should have taken

2. People I treated badly

3. People who treated me badly

4. Something I did to someone

5. Not doing something I should have done

6. Messes I need to clean up (literally and metaphorically)

7. Things I should throw away

8. Things I want to buy for my home

9. Things I want to buy for myself

10. Things I need but haven’t allowed myself to have

11. Projects I’ve started but have not finished

12. Projects I want to start

13. Things I want to change

14. Things I want to stop doing

15. Things I want to be

16. Things I want to have

17. Experiences I want to have

18. Things I want to say

19. Feelings I have not expressed

20. Secrets I don’t want to keep any longer

Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. Garrett also offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or at 201-303-4303.

Baldness in gents affects nine million in the British Isles, the most common sort of baldness is male pattern baldness. The baldness can develop as early as 22 and cause emotional stress.

Loss of hair is typically hereditary and might often hit men as well as women. The baldness appears due to the hair follicles on the head getting smaller and the hair falling out and never regrowing. Going bald regularly follows a hair loss pattern around the hair line and additionally at the crown of your scalp.

Baldness is not an awful disease and does not affect directly your health, although your emotional health can become affected through low self esteem. Visit Advanced Hair Studio and get a free hair and scalp check.

There are 3 excellent big time treatment methods for losing your hair, Minoxidil, Finasteride and Strand by Strand from Advanced Hair Studio. The 1st big genetic baldness treatment is a topical lotion that goes on the scalp and should be bought from hair loss specialist clinics. Minoxidil works by reducing the rate of hair loss, simply magnificent. Finasteride works by stopping the conversion of the baldness hormone. The breathtaking Strand by Strand hair restoration technique from Advanced Hair Studio, aka AHS, uses the latest hair loss medical technology and involves new hair strands appearing on the scalp strand by strand over a short time. With both the Minoxidil and Finasteride treatments they need to be forever applied for the hair effects to work.

Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be south for the winter, or back home in the spring?

In Canada where I live, this is a regular sight and a sure sign of the seasons passing.

From time to time, it’s easy to notice that there is a certain pattern to the flying geese. Often, they fly in formation, in a shape that makes it easier to fly as a group than alone, something that conserves energy for the trip.

Online memberships, when built right, are built on the same philosophy, even though they consist of bits, bytes, pixels and websites and not beaks, feathers or wings.

Have you noticed that things are easier to do when you’re surrounded by like-minded people going for the same goal?

Training for a marathon seems less onerous when you run with a bunch of buddies.

A garage sale seems like too much bother until the neighbourhood holds one together.

And of course, goals become so much more achievable when there’s a coach in the picture.

An online membership usually consists of a private website available to a certain set of people with common interests and goals.

Much like a library, online memberships take on a certain form, often containing resources such as books, magazines, articles, and even audio and video materials.

Premium membersip sites will often integrate a personal touch by providing support from a real person, whether that be by email, help desk or at a discussion board.

At its most elaborate, membership websites can leak over into the offline world, and members who were previously cyber-buddies only meet face-to-face for the first time and the bonds get cemented. These tend to be memberships that have the most longevity online…they achieve this by weaving in real meetings so the online connection takes on a new dimension.

Online memberships have certain significant characteristics:

A membership site gives your clients access to the information they need, when they want it, not just when you are available by telephone.

A membership site gives your clients access to each other, and the body of knowledge they represent, which can be enormous. The powerful connections that are made are very good fodder for a multidimensional coaching experience for your clients.

A membership site can be demanding to maintain, since new content and material need to be developed to ensure the membership is fresh and up to date.

With more than a million people in the world now identifying themselves with one of thousands of online groups, online memberships are modern ‘tribes’ that are filling the gaps being left by neighbourhoods and even church groups of old.

Andrea J. Lee coaches entrepreneurs and online business owners. As Thomas J. Leonard’s General Manager, she helped build and manage the largest network and trainer of personal and business coaches in the world. Now the CEO of Andrea J. Lee Group of Companies, she writes, speaks and consults on Marketing, Internet and Business systems. This is an excerpt from the her NEW BOOK – Multiple Streams of Coaching Income, http://www.multiplestreamsofcoachingincome.com

Eyes are the windows of the soul and you can see what a person is up to by looking into his eyes. Hence it is important to have clean eyesight. In yoga, trataka is a technique devised by the ancient sages to improve the eyesight. It is a shuddhikriya or purification process to cleanse the eyesight and help in silencing of the mind in concentration. Sit with your back straight. Keep your eyes fixed on an object without winking till tears start streaming down your face. The small object can be the flame of an oil lamp, or an image or a picture or the letter ‘AUM”. This object should be placed in the line of sight at a distance of about four to six feet. You can also do this kriya without any object in front of you. Having an object is not necessary. Just stare in front of you at the wall without moving the eyeballs or eyelids. Ensure that you stare at a certain point on the wall.

Before starting this exercise, you can start off by movement of the eyes without moving the head, where you roll your eyeballs up and down, sideways and from corner to corner diagonally. Initially, you can make this movement with the open eyes and then repeat them with the closed eyes. This will give the requisite exercise to the eye muscles. This is then followed by trataka. Trataka makes the eyes clear, improves eyes and silences the mind. Over a period of time, you will experience the silence of the mind. If you want to meditate, start with trataka to silence the mind and then go to the meditation. This way, you will reap the benefits of meditation. Since you are exercising the eye muscles, they become stronger. You can perform this kriya daily without any harmful effects.

When the Webmaster of www.breathbadgone.com asked me to write an article on halitosis (bad breath) I was thrilled. Strange, you say, that I should be enthused about the subject of halitosis (bad breath)? As an RN for over 25 years I have smelled many, many kinds of breath/ halitosis, and found that breath is a wonderful diagnostic tool. It can tell me how sick the patient is, and sometimes even what they have. I once worked with a wonderful doctor in the emergency room, who asked me what I smelled in the breath of a particular patient. We both felt we smelled a candida/yeast infection, and sure enough, that’s just what it turned out to be! Bad breath/ halitosis is always a sign that something else is going on, and I’d like to share with you a few interesting cases and general principles in this regard.

I have a friend who is a sensitive person. We were sitting at a table and I asked him how his day was. He said OK, but his breath was bad and his stomach seemed upset. After I asked a few more questions he finally let on he that he’d had an argument with his employer. As he was telling his story he drank the big glass of water I had given him. And as soon as he’d unburdened his feelings and the water was gone… so was his bad breath/ halitosis. The moral of this story… dehydration and emotional issues can both affect our breath.

Many patients who come to the emergency room have bad breath. Simply giving them fluids (water or salt water intravenously) not only helps their primary condition, but the bad breath as well. You don’t have to be in the Sahara desert to get dehydrated. Everyone needs to drink abundant water each day.

Small babies do not have bad breath/ halitosis when they are healthy. Bad breath (halitosis) is a sign that something is wrong and needs attention. Healthy toddlers don’t have bad breath either, so when babies, toddlers or growing children develop bad breath, the following factors usually play a role: dehydration, stress, wrong foods, bad digestion and poor dental health. Indeed, these are the same top causes of bad breath in adults, followed by digestive problems and infections, for which one should seek medical help. A great remedy for infections of all kinds, whether viral/ bacterial/ parasite and candida, or yeast, is Oil of Oregano. Oil of Oregano is an all-natural remedy that is as strong as pharmaceutical antibiotics, but with no side effects. It is also a great first aid remedy to have on hand.

I could go on and on about the distinct varieties of bad breath smells among those who drink alcohol, who smoke, who have diabetes, internal bleeding, liver diseases, or cancer. But I will spare you the unsavory details. The point is to focus on clean breath, and to heal the underlying causes of bad breath, which will give you better health and more enjoyment of your life. By welcoming bad breath/ halitosis as an opportunity to take preventive measures, you will be doing yourself a world of good.

May your breath be sweet!

Pieternel van Giersbergen

© 2005 Pieternel van Giersbergen. www.pieternel.com

Exercising and dieting are tasks that are very difficult for
many of us, but usually just the thought of it that makes us
queasy. There are some simple ways to get out and get fit, and
you just might enjoy yourself too.

Some people like to get up and head to the gym every morning,
before most of us are even out of bed. We all know that even a
little exercise will be good for us, but we just don’t have the
time or the motivation. Gym memberships can be a very expensive
cost.

Find ways to get fit, no matter how. A gym membership is not the
answer for a lot of people, but that is no excuse for laziness.
Exe
rcise equipment is right under your nose; just find
something that works for you.

• Walking is still regarded as a fantastic way to exercise.
  Thirty to sixty minutes a day will get your blood pumping and
  metabolism moving. Walk around the neighborhood or find a city
  park.
• Use a bicycle for transportation. Of course, many times this
  is not possible, but bike when you can. Eventually, you’ll push
  yourself to go farther distances. Don’t forget your helmet.
• Pushups and sit-ups are still recommended by your gym
  teacher. They are easy exercises that you can do at home. There
  are plenty of add-on products that can increase the productivity
  of the simple exercises. Incorp
  orate free weights as you do you sit-ups. Remember those
  crunches?
• Recycle gallon milk and juice jugs. A gallon of water weighs
  almost 8 pounds. The jugs even come with a convenient carrying
  handle. One in each hand is enough resistance for toning arm
  curls.
• Think thin and fit. We forget the power of the mind and its
  ability to heal the body. Concentrate on your exercises and
  dieting feats as you perform them. You’ll create a life changing
  mindset that is necessary to achieving your goals.

Taking control over your weight and diet is only a couple steps
away. Use common sense and think of simple solutions that you
can do at home. Set good, aggressive goals in your endeavors,
but break them down into smaller sub-goals so you can see your
progress without getting discouraged. Reevaluate your goals as
you go and make changes without losing sight of the end goal.

Slimming the Waist: Article 2 of 3 – Cardio By Ben Greenfield

If you’re performing the ab workout I outlined in Article 1 of this series, or any other ab routine, it’s not going to slim your waist unless you also burn off the fat. Remember, a combination of three factors is necessary: a sound workout, smart cardio, and good nutrition. In Part II of this series, I’m going to explain how to choose the proper cardio workout structure for burning the most amount of calories and burning the proper ratio of carbohydrates and fat.

When it comes to cardio, the question I probably receive most is: long and slow or short and fast? This question actually reflects the most important concept behind a good cardio routine. The truth is, it depends. Let’s begin by looking at total amount of calories burnt.

Say I ask you to travel a mile on foot. I don’t care how you do it – walk, jog, or run. Many exercise professionals will tell you that you’ll burn the same number of calories any way you do it, as long as you’re covering the same distance. This is simply not true. Studies have shown that the faster you cover that distance, the more calories you burn, period. There is a higher metabolic cost to moving quickly than to moving slowly. So you’re going to burn the most calories by pedaling, running, rowing, swimming, or doing any other cardio you do as fast as possible. The added bonus is that the faster you move, the higher your post-exercise metabolism becomes, meaning that you burn more calories throughout the day after your workout than if you had moved at a slower pace.

Here’s the catch – the faster you “move” across that mile, the more you rely on carbohydrates for energy, and the less you rely on fat. Although burning carbohydrates is beneficial, your body should also be learning how to efficiently use fat as an energy source. The “fat-burning” zone varies from person to person, but a good rule is that when breathing becomes labored or the muscles begin to burn, you’ve crossed the threshold to utilizing carbohydrate as a primary energy source. The basic science behind this is that it takes more oxygen to burn 1 calorie from fat than it takes to burn 1 calorie from carbohydrate, so as your body begins to work harder and get lower on oxygen, it turns more to carbohydrate as an energy source.

So here’s the application part. If you are pressed for time in your workout, go short and fast (i.e. 10-20 minutes, at an intensity level of 8-10). You will burn more calories, both in your workout and throughout the rest of the day. Ideally, however, if you have the time, you should also be incorporating long and slow cardio workouts into your routine (i.e. 20-60 minutes, at an intensity level of 6-8), essentially “training” your body to burn fat as a fuel. Often, I have my clients work in both zones by performing their short and hard cardio efforts prior to weight training on their “difficult” days, then performing their slow and long cardio efforts on their “easy” days. The added bonus is that the slow and long cardio efforts allow the body to recover more quickly from the previous day’s difficult efforts, which means better results.

Let’s finish with a sample workout that will keep you in both zones during the same workout. This is an “interval” routine. Here’s how it works:

5 minute graded warm-up, gradually working up to a hard intensity by minute 5

1 minute hard-fast effort (labored breathing)

2 minutes easy-medium effort (conversation possible)

2 minutes hard-fast effort

1 minute easy-medium effort

repeat 1x

3 minutes hard-fast effort

3 minutes easy-medium effort

4 minutes hard-fast effort

4 minutes easy-medium effort

repeat 1x

5 minute cool-down, gradually working down to a very easy effort by minute 5.

If you sign-up to work more extensively with an online trainer at www.pacificfit.net, you can receive a series of workouts that include pre-written cardio intervals similar to the one above, along with a comprehensive resistance training routine and nutritional plan. Congratulations, you’re yet another step closer to slimming the waist. Next time, I’ll be giving you five simple nutritional rules to make your body a fat-burning machine. Until then, train smart!

Ben

At the Canyon Ranch Health Resort in Tucson, Ariz., guests find healing in the water. The resort’s 11,000- square-foot Aquatic Center features three Watsu pools, a cross-training pool with conditioning equipment, two aquatic therapy pools and a whirlpool. There is also a complete Water Workout Station and it is making a big splash with guests.

“Water is the wave of the future,” said Karma Kientzler, an aquatic therapy expert and outside consultant for Canyon Ranch in Tucson. “People are using their bones and joints to such excess that water will become the means for most people to stay healthy. It is a means to life enhancement and enrichment, especially in a spa and health care environment.”

The Aquatrend, a scientifically designed piece of stainless steel equipment, was installed at Canyon Ranch about 10 years ago to help take the “work” out of workouts, Kientzler said. It makes working out a pleasurable experience, especially for those suffering from arthritis, knee and hip replacement or sports injury recovery. The power of water has become an integral part of spa relaxation and rejuvenation — it’s a healer, a stress reducer, and an amenity that everyone can enjoy regardless of age or physical condition,” she said.

For the physically challenged or non-swimmer, water exercise is safe because there is always something nearby to hold onto. On the flip side, those who are more fit or who are interested in the resistance benefits from ‘Aquacise’ or aqua therapy can use a water workout station to work isolated body areas to lose weight and inches, and to facilitate aerobic and anaerobic training. It provides the basic exercise everyone needs to strengthen cardiovascular and respiratory systems while building strength and endurance.

‘The Value of Aquatic Exercise’

According to the Aquatic Exercise Association, Aquatic fitness is defined as activities performed in the water that promote and enhance physical and mental fitness. Aquatic fitness is typically performed in a vertical position in shallow or deep water. There are numerous applications to appeal to a wide variety of participants.

Here’s how it works . . . and why it works. Water buffers the body from gravity and makes a person virtually weightless when they are totally submerged. When a person’s head is out of the water, he or she weighs approximately 10 percent of normal body weight. Therefore, exercising in the water offers protective cushioning that land-based exercise cannot.

Researchers tell us that exercise injuries are usually related to impact. Every time a person’s foot comes in contact with the floor, impact occurs. Because a person weighs so much less in the water, the impact on the body is reduced. Water has the same advantages to toning as it does in cushioning. In order to get muscles in shape or “toned,” a person has to work against something. On land, a person fights gravity, but water limits the effect of gravity on the body.

Aquatics: ‘Hard to Resist’

Mike Jandzen, Aquatics Director at the Sea Colony Resort in Bethany Beach, Delaware, who is responsible for managing water fitness programs at the property’s 12 pools and fitness center, said hardcore athletes are drawn to exercising in a gym because they prefer a more gravitational type of resistance for muscle toning and strength training. However, Jandzen said he is seeing more and more interest in the property’s aquatics programs, such as water aerobics and water exercise, because they can be enjoyed by young and old alike and offer cardiovascular conditioning, strength training and muscle toning while greatly reducing the impact on muscles and joints.

“Over the past several years we’ve seen aquatics becoming the exercise vehicle of choice,” he said. “We’ve had a water exercise unit in our aqua therapy pool for many years, and it’s constantly in use. Our senior guests enjoy it for therapy as well as for strength training and muscle toning. The water aspect makes it low impact. It’s easy to use, easy on joints and easy on muscles because buoyancy relieves the demands placed on all body parts.”

Every time a person gets into the pool, he or she is losing weight from the resistance that water provides, noting that the resistance of water is 12 times that of air. When exercising in water, the body still creates extra heat because muscles are being used. However, the body has a much easier time transferring your exercise heat to the water than it does to the air. The result is a workout that immediately feels refreshing and cool, and not hot and soggy from sweat.

A quality Water Workout Station provides Body Sculpting exercises, including standing squats, lateral pull ups, hanging leg pulleys, closed-grip pull ups, forward dips, single knee extensions/curls, leg diamonds, abdominal press, reverse abdominal and straight abdominal curl. Cardio Circuits provide 13 exercises, including: squat and lift, reverse lunge, chin ups, cardio-sprint, single bicep curls, body swings, cardio bobbing jumping jacks, single knee tucks, seat push ups, cardio-seated bicycle, oblique reach, reverse leg pull-downs and cardio-seated bicycle. There is also a Power Circuit, which incorporates aerobic and muscular conditioning, including: lat pull up/body swing combo, closed grip pull-up/reverse curl combo, cardio hurdles, reverse dip abductor/adductor cross combo, hanging curl-skate kick combo, cardio-cross country ski, body pike push-up combo, cardio seat down sprinting, straight curl-alternating elbow and cardio – seat down leg flurries.