I want to invite you to consider a very radical notion today. Here it is, are you ready? The very radical notion is that your partner in your love relationship is different from you.

Wow, that’s a devastating realization, it is not?

OK, I know this falls under the heading of “Well, duh!” but we sure do act like we do not believe it.

I sometimes think that the only problem with common sense is that it is not very common.

Deadly differences

Some differences can be deadly to a relationship. If one person wants kids and the other person does not, this can be a deadly difference. You cannot compromise here because you cannot have half a kid.

Others times we can make a difference become deadly when we demand that the other person agree with us, think like us, or see the world the exact same way we do.

Delightful differences

Stop and thing about it a moment. You picked the person you are with in a long term love relationship for many reasons. I would suggest that one of the reasons is that you delighted in the differences.

The problem comes when traits that made our mate great become traits that grate.

What to do

There are two things you can continually do to delight in the differences:

1) Complement each other – No, I do not mean “that is a nice shirt” or I like your new hair style.” What I do mean is that we can take our differences and create a powerful couple. There are things you are weak in where your partner is strong, and there are things in which your partner is weak in which you are strong.

2) Celebrate the differences – Remember and cherish your first attractions to each other.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.